Yesterday, I wanted to be a professional fisherman. Or not even a professional. Just a half-ass, novice, part-timer fishing for my dinner. I’ve been known to fall victim to “grass-is-always-greener” type thinking and these past months have been no different. I think it’s safe to say, that with my book finished and almost all subsequent marketing efforts put to bed, I’ve been a little depressed.
I’ve been warned about this. I remember my writing coach talking about it. It’s a real thing! Look it up. A kind of postpartum depression happens. It’s even listed in Urban Dictionary as Post-Series Depression for readers. But if readers can feel sad about an ending and miss the characters, then just imagine how the writers who gave birth to them feel! Granted, I didn’t create my mom, Frankie or myself, but the kind of self-examination required for memoir writing can leave you with a little self-doubt at the end of the process. And, much the same as anyone prone to even remotely deep thinking, I’ve been going through a “what’s-it-all-for-and-what-the-hell-is my-purpose” thing.
Yes, even me. Who, on most good days, feels my reason for being put on this earth is to impart my innermost neuroses and embarrassing foul-ups through the written word so that my readers (whoever remains anyway) can feel not so alone. Trouble is lately, there haven’t been all that many good days. Hence, my record-breaking hiatus from writing and daydreams of becoming a fisherman. Err … fisherwoman.
In the beginning of this unpaid leave of absence, say around May, I simply decided I needed another project. I dwelled on an idea for a children’s book starring a particular Pekingese pup, but that never got any traction. Then, I wondered if it was a relationship I was missing. And while my foray into the world of online dating provides lots of humorous inspiration, I’ve decided most of those mishaps are unpublishable under my real name, even for a self-deprecating writer like myself.
Then, in July, my mother took a tumble, hit her head and temporarily lost her mind. I mean for real lost her mind. At one point, she couldn’t have told you her name or how many kids she had. Long story short, it was a urinary tract infection. Turns out they can make older women crazy. I had no idea. Google it. Drink your cranberry juice, people.
Needless to say, my depression lifted. I now became consumed with hospitals, rehabs, medications and moving. The tables had turned. Or to borrow another cliche’, we had come full circle since my own debilitating ordeal. Now, my mother and I share a three-bedroom apartment. This is the important thing to remember about depression. It’s pointless. It’s futile to worry about the current state of affairs because things can always get worse.
I’m hopeful we’ve gotten through the worst of it. My mother has gotten most of her marbles back, but as many of you know, she wasn’t exactly playing with a full set anyway. And before any of you start feeling outraged on her behalf, just know I have her complete consent to write what I want. Which is good because there are some funny stories from rehab – where my mother, cooly and above it all, remarked from her wheelchair, looking at all the other old people in wheelchairs, “this is not my crowd.” She knows she is my greatest muse, just as I know and am grateful that she’s my biggest fan.
But as her fog lifts, mine begins to return. Truth is that aside from handling her finances, managing medications and removing the occasional dirty dish from the pantry, there isn’t all that much to do. I like the way my friend Matt theorized about it. My smart mind needs stimulation!
And as I gazed at the fishermen and took in the whole scene, I realized I was trying to come up with phrases to describe the way the sections of tattered seawall served as cutting blocks to their bait. Or to explain the impossible way the sun glints and sparkles off restless water using an analogy other than stars or diamonds. And so it came to me. I don’t really want to fish. I want to sit here and take it all in. Frankie relaxing on the park bench, snapping at unseen bugs, sniffing the coffee-filled breeze that rustles through the trees, the occassional train whistle or ambulance siren piercing the air.
So, I’m writing again. For now. And maybe it’ll help.
October 23, 2017 at 6:49 pm
I’ve battled depression and dealt with an aging grandparent who also went nuts when she had a UTI. I feel for you. I hope you find the inspiration you need. 💗
October 23, 2017 at 6:49 pm
So glad you are back to writing! This is great. I hope things are better every day.
October 23, 2017 at 6:59 pm
Glad you are back writing and your mother is on the mend!! I hope things continue to improve!!
October 23, 2017 at 7:18 pm
Amy, loved your blog post. Writing has saved me from the depths on many days. And you are so good at it. Glad you have started writing again!
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October 23, 2017 at 7:49 pm
Yay! Amy’s writing again! We will celebrate!
October 23, 2017 at 8:06 pm
Hi girlfriend, I enjoyed reading, Leave of Absence. You are an excellent writer! I would like to reply/comment but before I do, I would appreciate talking with you. I tried calling but could only leave a message. I haven’t heard back yet. Please, give me a call either tonight or in the a.m. (early will work). Thank you, Diana
October 23, 2017 at 10:53 pm
🆒 cuz … you got the gift … so give it away … we need to hear … and you need to just let it flow right on through … stay out of your head … it’s what comes naturally … just “Being With What Is “ your a master of it … thank god your around to remind us how hysterical life really is … we need a good laugh more than ever in these strange times … Ha ! 👁👁 🙏 💋
October 24, 2017 at 10:03 am
Woohoo! You’re writing again. Can’t wait to read The Misadventures of your Mom in LaLa land! See you Thursday. (I actually posted a short piece on my old – not Maizey – blog. Not the greatest, but maybe a start.
October 24, 2017 at 12:38 pm
It was another introduction to adulthood. The part when you and your mother change rolls.
Just breathe deeply and tell yourself you can get through this. We are only renting time on this earth. What we learn now will serve us well the next time we role through.
March 29, 2018 at 8:50 am
You are awesome 👏 great time with you and your mom
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