Just as I began to wonder what on earth my next blog post would be about, my wheelchair fell off the back of our Jeep in rush-hour traffic.
My mom and I were heading to Best Buy for a new T.V. My heavy, corner-unit Samsung didn’t owe me anything and to prove it, had started showing me a fun-house-mirror picture in miniature. My mother was thrilled. She’d been after me for some time to get with the 21st century and get a flat-screen, but T.V.’s are like cars in my book — I prefer to run them into the ground.
That my mom was driving “in-town” in the first place was kind of my fault. I’m the one who decreed “beach driving only” (not that she ever listens to me.) I’ve been arranging for other rides a lot lately, but this particular trip seemed too good to pass up. Not only did I need the ride, I needed the pixel expertise.
My mother isn’t known for her patience. She can also be a wee bit forgetful. So, when she came to pick me up without the bungee cords that secure my wheelchair onto the outside lift, we decided it would be fine lashed with what looked like an old leash of Frankie’s. I say “we decided” because, having discussed the option of driving back to her house for the bungee cords, both of us shrugged and said “nah.” What could go wrong?
We had just come through an intersection when I heard the series of thumps. “Mom, is the wheelchair okay?” I asked.
She looked in the rear-view mirror. “It’s gone! It’s gone!”
It wasn’t gone. It was dragging by Frankie’s leash down Atlantic Boulevard. Other drivers were flashing their lights. Miraculously, when she hauled it into the back seat from the shoulder, it had suffered only a few cosmetic scrapes.
Sometimes material presents itself.
Having a fresh idea used to be one of the hardest parts of writing. Now, I’m privy to an endless fountain of inspiration. Becoming handicapped is a hell of a trade off, but I’ll take it. I don’t really have a choice.
In his last broadcast, Andy Rooney said something like, any idiot can think up a weekly column. I cringed. Then again, he writes about the crap in his glove compartment and stuff like why-do-I-save-all-these-ketchup-packages.
I recently wrote my life story in 149 words and I dare say my handicap makes my life story more interesting. Something major has happened to me. Disability has its perks? Well, this is one of them. Sorry, writers. Get your own gig. This one’s mine.
October 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm
OMG! I had nightmares about Dad’s chair falling off the back. One time (without the chair, thank goodness) the lift opened up from it’s closed position and I was driving down University Blvd oblivious to the platform swinging in the breeze. Not the most observant of drivers, I kept wondering why people were driving past me, glaring and pointing. Finally at a stop light a couple of JU students shouted at me to look behind me! Yikes!
I daresay you will always have material to write about. Not so much because you are handicapped but because of the way you look at the world. You have a writer’s eye, I think. And if the day comes when, like Andy Rooney, you are listing the contents of your backpack, I know it will be in order alphabetically!
October 16, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Whaaaat a story! Glad to hear the WC is ok. Curious, Did you find a TV after all? I’ll stay tuned. Enjoy you blogs.
October 17, 2011 at 10:30 am
Yes – we were on a mission. I’ve joined the 21st century!
October 17, 2011 at 6:00 am
so glad the chair only suffered cosmetic injuries….what a trip….
October 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I laughed till I cried…and then cried some more when I read your “life story in 149.” Humor and heartrending prose…you are so very talented, my dear friend. Miss you!
October 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm
You’re so kind. Can’t wait till you come back to the Chats!
November 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm
oh bless you, I couldn’t help but empathise with your wheelchair situation!