New Year’s resolutions

You can be anything you want to be. These must have been words I heard often growing up because, back then, the possibilities seemed endless. And it still comes as a shock that physically I can’t do anything I want. I have to remind myself that I can’t compete on The Amazing Race or be America’s Next Top Model. Not only is America not ready for lots of 45-year-old exposed flesh, but I’m thinking I might have a little trouble with the catwalk. Fortunately, I settled on writing. It’s one of the few things I can actually still do with any measure of competence. Some people might call that lucky. I call it meant to be.

So, once again the new year is upon us. As many of you know, I love this holiday. I have my list of resolutions ready to go well before the first champagne bottle pops. And I’m not talking about some last minute thing. These resolutions aren’t done mentally as the ball begins to drop. They are carefully considered, written-down plans for the future me. A new me. Me, only better.

Sure, a lot of resolutions have been listed a time or two before. There are the usual about eating right and exercising. I really do want to meditate daily. (And no, the ten minutes spent zoning out on the couch thinking, “I really should get up” don’t count.) Plus, there’s weight to lose. Gee, where have you heard that before?

But hey! At least I’m putting it out there! I’m making myself accountable to my blog readers. I mean, how many times can I write about losing weight before someone comments, “Oh for chrissakes, just do it already!” I mean, enough is enough. It’s embarrassing.

This year, I’m finally taking my writing teacher’s advice and checking out future me.org . It’s right up my alley. Want to be held accountable more often than once a year? Write yourself any number of letters that you’ll never see again until the date you’ve chosen. These letters are great reminders of the things you wanted for yourself back when you were feeling motivated at the beginning of the year, i.e. now. Plus, as I’ve preached before — there is power in writing these things down. Really. Don’t knock it until you try it. One of my planned letters, due to come back to me in February, will simply say, Are you writing every day? Because I really should be. And meditating. And exercising. And eating right. I realize that’s an awful lot of shoulds. I should probably work on that, too.

The point is, it’s never too late to reinvent yourself. And don’t worry if your list looks like mine, with lots of repeats. I’m all about the try try again, clean slates and do-overs. I think that’s why the holiday appeals to me so much. Besides, even if you don’t get it right the first time, you really will make progress. Take my sweet tooth, for example. I’ve fallen off the wagon plenty of times, but this year I dusted myself off and climbed back on a lot quicker. I was just sick of eating holiday junk. I usually give myself until the beginning of January. But look, it’s December 28th and I’m writing this with carrots and hummus at my desk. Progress. Celebrate the small victories. Maybe in a few more years, I’ll be one of those people that sneak kale chips into the movie theater instead of buying overpriced, greasy snacks. For now at least, I order my popcorn without the butter. I’m getting there.

As you’re thinking about the new you, remember — some old dreams are better left unvisited. Or revisited for amusement’s sake only. But some could be important. Particularly, if they keep coming back up. Is there something you wanted to be that you’re not? Is there some way you can incorporate this into the current version of yourself? It doesn’t have to be huge, just some small way. And you know, it’s okay if you don’t succeed on the first go around. After all, you’re a work in progress.

Why are the 80s so much fun to poke fun of?

I love January. The resolve. The hope. The promise of a new, healthier year. This year, I plan on losing weight, saving money and being more patient with my mom. I always make grandiose plans for a wonderful new me. I have my resolutions written down by Christmas. And then, next season, I resolve to do it all over again the following year.

That I always seem to be making the same resolutions doesn’t bother me. Ongoing failure doesn’t deter me one bit. Where would we be today if Thomas Edison had thrown in the towel after his thousandth attempt at the lightbulb? Or if Bill Gates hadn’t followed up on his first business failure, Traf-o-Data, with Microsoft? Imagine if Stephen King had given up on Carrie. Actually, he did. Bad example. It was his wife who fished the manuscript out of the trash.

But, you get the point. Very few people succeed right out of the gate. Instead, they make multiple attempts and — this is key — learn something as to why they failed, so they can get closer to reaching their goal the next time.

For example, in my quest to shed pounds, I have learned that the all natural supplement, raspberry ketones, touted as the number one miracle fat-burner in a bottle, just makes me nauseous. (Serves me right for looking for an easy way out.) I’ve also learned (or re-learned) that I have absolutely no willpower. So yes, Twizzlers are a nice, low-calorie snack to have on hand to satisfy a sweet tooth. But, if you eat the whole package it’s still 250 calories, 28 grams of sugar and no way to lose weight. It’s best for me not to even have it in the house. Lesson learned.

When I was just a wee little perfectionist, I remember trying my very best to say my pleases and thank yous, not to swear and not to call anyone a stupidhead. Whenever I messed up, I’d quickly give myself a do-over and say “starting now.” This is warped on many levels, I know, but what I’m trying to illustrate here is how easily I simply began again. More than three decades later, I don’t call anyone a stupidhead (to their face) and mostly remember my manners, though I do go ahead and curse freely. Two out of three ain’t bad. A saying my Grandma Weeze liked, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” So, here are some tips to help you keep that resolve. Starting now.

~Be realistic. The surest way to fall short is to make your goal unattainable. My resolution to read a book every other month is laughable, even now. I’m revising it to a book a season.

~Reward yourself. Treat yourself to something you enjoy that doesn’t contradict your resolution. So, rewarding myself for losing ten pounds by ordering a pizza is not the way to go.

~Tell everyone. Force yourself to be accountable. The more people that know and may ask you how it’s going, the better.

~Write it down. On paper. It makes it more official and you can’t change the parameters easily. Besides, I think there’s power in this. (See my previous post “Write it Down, Make it Happen.”)

~Get support. Don’t go it alone if you don’t have to. Particularly, if your resolution involves an addiction, like quitting smoking.

Amy F. Quincy Author/Freelance Writer

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The New You

Fresh Starts

Amy F. Quincy Author/Freelance Writer

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