
I lost a dear friend last weekend. Because it was unexpected, many of her friends are still reeling. But we came together last week, not for a service exactly, but a gathering of sorts, a service before the service.
While there, what struck me most was, while I knew very few people, I wasn’t the only one. Everyone there, it seemed, didn’t know anybody else. This beautiful person had touched so many lives — and most of them in random ways. So-and-so met so-and-so on eHarmony or in a class, and that someone knew a neighbor of Amy’s who turned out to be somebody else’s realtor. And so it went. I met Amy several years ago at a self-improvement workshop that neither of us particularly cared for. We joked that the best thing to come out of it had been our friendship. The assortment of people that arrived last Tuesday may not have known each other, but it all led back to Amy.
Her short-time love (that they weren’t yet married is just a technicality in my book) spoke of two words Amy associated with herself — creativity and connection. Someone else spoke about how, upon hearing the news, her best friend was prompted to say “I love you” to her for the first time in over twenty years. I had similar experiences. Friends, those I see all the time and those I hadn’t heard from in months or years, reached out to me. Connections are important. The lesson I left with is to tell the people you care about that they matter.
On the way home, another good friend of Amy’s mentioned that Amy’s easel was still at his house. They had taken an art class together. Amy had gotten bored. She didn’t have the attention span for it. He, on the other hand, was on to something. He showed me some paintings on his phone. They were good.
As a creative person myself, I feel certain that Amy has left it to me to encourage him. This is a role I gladly accept. I think everyone has the potential to be creative or do something that makes a difference, something they feel passionate about. We differ only in how much we’ve actualized or stifled this natural urge.
When I considered writing this blog, I hesitated. Was it selfish of me to write about something so personal? About losing a person most of my readers don’t even know? And then I remembered: that’s the magic of writing. When done well, it makes you feel. There’s something in it that the reader can relate to. So, it doesn’t really matter if you knew Amy or not. I write what’s personal to me and you can connect to it through something personal to you. Magic.
And so, I find that this giving friend of mine keeps on giving. And I simply pass on the message. Creativity and connection. Do with that what you will.

1966-2012
October 28, 2012 at 6:49 am
I only met Amy once at your garden party when you moved into your place. I wish I had been able to spend more time with the both of you. It’s funny how people come into our lives and things change. The connections made, the bonds forged. I know you know I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, people just don’t come into our lives on accident. There a lessons to learn, lessons to give… you know. Looking at all your pictures together, I can see how special she was in your life. Her smile infectious, her energy contagious. I love you dear friend, I’m so glad you happened into my life.
October 28, 2012 at 7:43 am
This is a beautiful tribute, Amy. I am glad you shared it and sorry I could not have known Amy H. as well.
October 28, 2012 at 8:08 am
Wonderful words. A lovely tribute to Amy and her creative spirit. I’m so glad that she touched your life and many others. Your words have indeed connected her with those who knew her and many more who did not.
October 28, 2012 at 8:17 am
Amy, your thoughts on your friend, Amy, evoke emotion and inspire us all. I think so many people choose “I’m so busy’ instead of making time for connections like family and friends. You writing is fluid and clean, as usual.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. She was lucky to have you in her life.
October 28, 2012 at 9:06 am
Thank you Amy for keeping her in our hearts just as she always wanted in life. The void is vast, but perhaps keeping her spirit close will help ease the pain. Thank you for being a friend to my soul mate, my future wife, the woman I loved.
October 28, 2012 at 9:17 am
“When done well, it [writing] makes you feel.”
You done well, my friend. And I’m feeling just a small portion of the sadness Amy’s friends are feeling. A life lost too soon is always hard to fathom. Like we’ve already discussed, I will forever think of the girl with the bright smile when I see sunlight dancing on the tips of ocean waves. May she rest in eternal peace.
October 28, 2012 at 9:43 am
You inspire me! May God bless you in all that you do<3
Sent from my iPhone
October 28, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Amy, As always, you make the world more real. That you would attract such a dynamic woman to you–that her “themes” were connection and creativity, speaks not only of her gift, but of yours.
Thank you for sharing Amy with us. I know her through you, but I know her all the same.
All us Chats surround you in heart and spirit.
October 29, 2012 at 8:36 am
Beautiful, Amy. Thank you for that. I will be following your blog. Have a good day.
October 29, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Thank you so much to all my friends – old and new. It’s wonderful to know your caring support is out there. Much love.
November 1, 2012 at 9:48 am
I have always found comfort from this song and I pray you wil too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeGNgBwPTMA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Amy Hyler was a friend with a contagious smile, an inspiring attitude and beautiful inside and out.
December 1, 2012 at 10:46 pm
Amy you were truly Beautiful inside & out. Not only will the Dental community miss you, the whole world will miss you. We will never forget you.
Paul
May 1, 2013 at 9:08 am
Amy,
My husband and I only found out yesterday of Amy. Is there a way I can email you directly?
Angela