*Reader discretion is advised.
“It’s the cradle of life. It’s the center of civilization. Men have fought for it. Even died for it.” I have to admit. The television had my attention. On screen, swords and horses in medieval garb clashed . It looked like the trailer for some epic period piece I didn’t want to miss. And then the announcer said it. “Hail to the V.” It was a commercial for … well … umm … a feminine product. Excuse me? Did I hear correctly? Did she just say “Hail to the V?!”
What’s happening here? I’m all for acknowledging my feminine power, but I don’t need it hailed on national television! I was complaining about this not-so-recent trend to my hairdresser. Advertisers seem to be letting it all hang out. I finally got used to all the condom and erectile dysfunction ads when there seemed to be a whole new slew of offenders. She agreed. She can’t stand the colorful bears with all the pieces left behind. And the slogan. Enjoy the go? I detest watching the cartoon babies scrunch up their faces in concentration while competing in some kind of crapping contest set to the music “Whoop, (or is it poop?) There It Is.” What the hell goes on in there that diapers need to come with blowout protection?
And then there’s this candor: “It’s time to get real about what happens in the bathroom. And start talking about what you really want from your toilet paper.” But I don’t wanna! Maybe I’m a fuddy-duddy, but I’m sure I’m not alone in this. It must be real embarrassing to watch T.V. with your kids nowadays. Imagine trying to explain why the couple in bed are so exhausted in a particular “yours and mine” commercial. (And before you say I watch way too much T.V., I was sick last week.)
I guess these corporations know what they’re doing. They conduct market research test groups, right? All I’m saying is that if I did need to buy diapers, I’d be sure to avoid the brand with the cartoon babies.
Amy F. Quincy Author/Freelance Writer 
August 7, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Well said. Sometimes less information IS more than enough.
Back when I was in a quilting guild I used to go berzerk over a Quilted Northern commercial where the quilters sat around knitting. I’ve actually not heard, “hail to the V”. I have to admit to being somewhat curious about the admen that come up with these ideas. Are women allowed into the inner sanctum of board rooms? Please say it isn’t so that women would be writing conquering “V” ads.
Sorry you were sick. Feeling better?
August 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I hope you’re right. I want to believe that women would never come up with this sort of thing. But women had to be their test audience! So we too, are responsible. By the way, it’s Quilted Northern with all the “honest” bathroom talk too! I buy Greenwise. They can’t afford ads.
Just a cold – thanks.
August 8, 2011 at 9:14 am
From the girl who still gets embarrassed passing maxi pads to a male clerk in the checkout line, I love this, Amy! And I don’t like seeing commercials like that, now that my son is at an age when he wants to know what everything means. (Although it is true about blow-out diapers–but I could just as easily read diaper stats on line. I don’t have to see them on TV.) The ED commercials are what really get me. It’s hard enough to discuss personal issues in private with a doctor, so why do people want it all out there for everyone to hear? I think we’re too desensitized, personally, and I heartily agree.
August 10, 2011 at 7:54 am
This has extended to the UK too, we have an advert about “beautiful sanitary towels.” I have no idea what makes them beautiful, they’re certainly not adorned with jewels, that’s for sure!